An Islamic Reflection on Kafka's Metamorphosis: The Human Longing for Unconditional Love
The opening sentence of Kafka’s Metamorphosis sets the stage for his deeply philosophical lesson:
Gregor Samsa wakes up one morning to the realisation that he has turned into a monstrous cockroach.
It is an absurd sentence to begin a book with and a disgusting proposition, but it makes the reader think where is the writer going with this? Will this dark beginning have a little Disney fairy dust sprinkled on to it and this cockroach eventually be transformed into a prince? The answer is no. Because Kafka is dealing with reality and in reality, transformations are traumatic and deeply personal experiences that are not visible and cannot be quantified, they happen beneath the surface, where only God is a witness.
Upon realising that he is a cockroach Samsa’s immediate attention is directed toward how this transformation impacts his ability to carry out his vocation- a travelling salesman- and it is this context that the magnitude of being transformed from a strong young man into a cockroach becomes apparent. Samsa is financially responsible for his family, his father, mother and sister and begins to think what will happen to them now that he can’t work.
However his financial worries prove to be misplaced, his father, who had previously spent much of his time on the couch is able to shake off any disabilities that previously acted as a barrier to work and the family is able to come up with other avenues of income to replace the money Samsa provided for them. One such way was renting out a room in the house, an arrangement that very quickly went sour when the tenants caught sight of Samsa’s ugly presence. The reader ponders had Samsa’s financial security acted as a barrier to other family members from reaching their full potential, had his presence in his human form impeded their development independence and progression the same way as it is doing now- as a cockroach?
Samsa slowly becomes a burden on his family, the door remains closed for most of the time, food is left at the door, there are no check-ins to see if he is doing fine. The mood in the house has shifted from one of sorrow and grief at his predicament to one of agitation and anger. Samsa is no longer useful, in fact his presence is seen as a burden, a shameful stain on the family name.
What eventually becomes obvious is, even in Samsa’s transformation into a cockroach the expectation that he will be loved unconditionally by his family is still present and although the inability to find such love in this instance, on paper, would be more valid the readers expectations are not diminished by Samsa’s new reality -as a cockroach. Which suggests the need to be loved and accepted by others is an innate feeling that does not consider reason.
If you were Samsa and were told that you were going to spend much of your life working hard caring and loving people who would then turn on you and abandon you, would that knowledge have a consequence on your actions? If yes, then where is your capacity to love unconditionally? Kafka’s work does the raise the question if it even within human capacity to love unconditionally.
Deep down, many of us recognise that we are replaceable. Like Gregor Samsa, we can come to feel that our value depends on our usefulness or our ability to meet the demands of others. In seeking validation, it may begin to seem as though the only way to remain relevant is to become the person others want us to be. Eventually, the distance between who we are and who we perform becomes so great that we realise we are no longer ourselves.
Contemporary advice often tells us to stop caring what other people think and to ignore our desire for acceptance. Yet we are simultaneously encouraged to acquire status symbols, cultivate carefully curated identities, and build lives—both online and offline—that depend on being liked, followed, and validated by others. The contradiction is striking and the tension between these internal and external messages can deepen feelings of anxiety, self-doubt, and alienation.
When reading metamorphosis, the reality of the futility of our worth when placed in materialism and in the hands of others becomes quite jarring and, more significantly, diminishes worth to a transactional commodity. Nonetheless, materialism and external validation persist in being the primary ways in which we identify ourselves and our own self-worth despite its devastating effects on our wellness and self-perception.
Seeking validation from others can lead to anxiety, shame, self-doubt, and even bitterness toward those around us. The more a person seeks to impress others, the less freedom they have to be themselves. Instead, they begin to adopt the persona that best satisfies the expectations of those whose approval they seek.
So, how are we to behave? How do we reconcile our innate desire for unconditional love with the reality of a seemingly transactional world, while maintaining loving, healthy relationships that nurture wellbeing?
The Islamic Perspective
God has declared that our ultimate purpose is to serve Him, and that every aspect of life is a continuous test of that devotion, including our interactions with others. In every matter and every relationship, God is to be considered first and foremost, and all conduct is to be ordered in accordance with His will. Everything is done with God in mind, with consideration as to whether an act towards another person is pleasing to Him.
Similarly, Ibn Rajab, in his commentary on the hadith "Actions are only by intentions" in Jāmiʿ al-ʿulūm wa al-hikam, explains that sincerity requires directing one's acts towards Allah alone. When the heart becomes occupied with gaining the admiration of others, the purity of intention is corrupted and worship itself becomes diminished. He notes that the believer's concern should not be the praise or blame of people, but whether Allah is pleased with him.
Imam al-Ghazālī, in the Ihyāʾ ʿUlūm al-Dīn, argues that seeking the praise of people and fearing their blame are subtle forms of attachment to creation that deprive a person of sincerity towards Allah. Consequently, the one who performs deeds for the sake of their approval becomes enslaved to ever-changing expectations and lives in constant anxiety over maintaining his image.
What prevents a person from becoming free of the need for validation from others is the failure to recognise that benefit, harm, honour, love, and provision come only by God's will, and not through pleasing people.
Allah says:
“And if Allah touches you with harm, none can remove it except Him; and if He intends good for you, none can repel His bounty…”
Qur'an 10:107
From this perspective, while the desire for acceptance is deeply rooted in human nature, dependence upon the approval of others reflects a deficiency in one's reliance upon God and is often accompanied by anxiety, resentment, and fear. Ibn Taymiyyah frequently emphasises that: "Whoever loves, fears, and hopes in other than Allah will be tormented by that."
This is not to suggest that people are to be neglected or treated with indifference. Allah commands kindness, justice, forgiveness, love, and cooperation in goodness. Yet these actions are undertaken primarily for His sake rather than for worldly gain or the pursuit of approval. God promises time and time again:
"Indeed, whoever fears Allah and is patient, then indeed Allah does not allow the reward of those who do good to be lost."
Qur'an 12:90
By orienting one's life towards God, a person becomes less dependent upon the shifting opinions of others and gains a deeper sense of peace and stability. Acting in accordance with divine guidance provides confidence and frees one from constantly seeking validation. Consequently, acts of kindness are no longer performed in expectation of gratitude, and ingratitude is less likely to produce bitterness or resentment. God's commands are constant and His faithfulness unwavering, providing a stable foundation that frees one from chasing ever-changing social expectations.
This orientation also transforms the nature of relationships. Interactions cease to be merely transactional and become guided by spiritual principles. One is encouraged to act with justice, kindness, openness, and trust, recognising that whatever good comes ultimately occurs through the grace of God rather than through the favour of any individual. Relationships are no longer centred on securing approval or personal benefit, but on fulfilling the rights and responsibilities God has established between people. In this way, love and kindness become more sincere, strengthening both individuals and communities.
Although wrongdoing may bring social consequences and the disapproval of others, the believer recognises that every sin is ultimately committed in disobedience to God. When others have been wronged, their rights must be restored and forgiveness sought, not because people's judgement is supreme, but because injustice towards them is itself a transgression against God's commands. Seeking reconciliation with those who have been harmed therefore becomes part of repentance to God, whose mercy and forgiveness remain the believer's foremost concern rather than the preservation of appearances.
Furthermore, trust in God's mercy protects a person from despair and from becoming consumed by guilt and shame. Any consequences that arise from others may be accepted with patience and humility and may even be viewed as opportunities for purification and spiritual growth. Consequently, criticism, rejection, or abandonment are no longer interpreted solely as personal attacks, but as experiences that may contain lessons and wisdom. By placing ultimate importance on one's relationship with God, one becomes better able to endure such difficulties without losing perspective or harbouring resentment.
And so, I would place my ultimate worth and validation in God, who, were I to awaken tomorrow as a cockroach, would remain my Creator and whose mercy, provision, and blessings would not cease. Ultimately, it is in Him alone that the restless human desire to be loved apart from one's usefulness finds its true resting place.
